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i think write more in tumblr than blogspot these days.so if any of u are actually reading this and actually bothers,try to head down to ebbsandflows.tumblr.com.

for some unexplainable reason it feels better to write shits there now.

i've cried over the loss of friends that i loved.

though im not sure whether i was crying for regret,or disgust.

the boring holiday

my reading habit is back on.i was very happy upon realizing that i finally managed to finished up a whole book for the past 6 days and to think that i havent finished any for the past 6 months is just, utterly embarrassing.

i bought tons of books earlier this year,and never finished any.daddy wont be so happy if he knows that,the amount of money he paid for those books doesnt do justice to how bad i neglect them afterwards.

i got reallllly lazy and i dont wanna elaborate more.too shameful.

but hey,all is well now,i just finished reading"a world without islam" by graham e.fueler and it feels good to want to read again.

and i have this sudden fascination over the british monarch these days.(no,does not in any way relate to the royal wedding).it's crazy,i spent nights studying the house of tudor,house of stuart,saxe-cooburg-cooburg saalfeld,windsor and such.

bottom line is,holiday already come as a bore to me.i need a job,pronto,before i end up becoming a boring historian or a dead historical piece myself.

ANHELO SU BOCA, SU VOZ, SU PELO

I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets,
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.

I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.

*translated

-pablo neruda

:)

i've reached the point where i couldn't give a fuck anymore.i gave up trying,i gave up hating,i gave up wondering and yeah well,i basically gave up on everything.

please don't shower me with questions on whether or not i take things personally.because i gave up the whole terasa game a long time ago.

it's about time i realize and embrace the fact that two-faced people exist.and i should have take more precautions on this type early on.

shudn't have take them too close to the heart.

would have feel a whole lot differently if u're not that important,see.

oh well,life's a lesson.

i observe a lot these days.humanity seems a rather interesting subject to study and scrutinize,but somehow tengok perangai keji orang sekarang buat aku sendiri lost my faith in humanity.hmmm.