la heim.

you know what happen when u smoke too much weed?

you get a trainwreck household.hysterical maniacs,flying kitchenware,you know the drill.

now dont give me that look when i say i have plenty of reasons to question His existence.i grew up witnessing a shitloads of questionable event and tremendous hardship.now dont say im exxagerating just because i tak mengemis di pasar malam dan takde duit nak sekolah.

hardship doesnt necessarily have to concern money,does it?

my hardship concerns the likes of emotional turbulence and psychological distress.and i didnt grew up with people who set much of a good example either.

this might sound like something personal to some people,something that i should keep to myself,but being so emotionally barren like me,you just dont know the difference anymore.i am in this state where i have nothing to lose,and nothing to gain.and for the past few years,i have forgotten when was the last time i ever did something with pure sincerity.every move,every act that i engaged in,are like,the things that i have to do in order to confirm myself as part of the human race.just a dogmatic routine that i have to face daily.no escape.and to make my breeder happy.

i didnt please my breeder that much lately.

i've gain all the A's,all the good grades,but i never really pleased them fully.

which confuse me sometimes.

and makes me wonder,

where is God?